...About Anger

I’ve been thinking…about anger.

My only brother passed away in July of 2013.  He was not only my brother, he was my business partner, my mentor, my best friend, and in a lot of ways a father figure.  He had been dealing with health issues for the past three years and could never seem to make any headway.  His death actually had very little to do with his health issues but I believe it was still somewhat related because I think his body was just worn out.  I took his death pretty hard although I comforted myself with the knowledge that he was a Christ-follower so I knew where he was at and that I would see him again.  I went through periods where I was sad and a little depressed, periods where I was thankful that he was not suffering any longer, and periods of confusion just trying to figure out why this had happened to him.  The one emotion that I never thought I was dealing with was anger.  I never gave anger a thought because to be honest, I would not have known whom I was angry with.  Could I be angry with him, with the medical personnel who couldn’t save him, with myself, with God?  When I think about being angry, I usually correlate that with sin because when I am angry, I usually do or say something that I shouldn’t.  Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us “²⁶ Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, ²⁷ and give no opportunity to the devil.”  Looking back, I am certain that I was angry and was just not willing to admit it for fear of sinning in my anger. 

Over the Christmas holidays this past December, a good friend of mine was in town and we had a chance to talk about this subject.  He had recently lost his parents and he was dealing with anger and he knew it.  He shared with me what he had come to realize that put this whole subject in an entirely new light for me.  He talked about how Jesus had dealt with the death of Lazarus in the New Testament.  John 11:33 says that Jesus groaned in the spirit and was troubled.  In the ancient Greek, this is translated literally to mean “to snort like a horse” which implies anger and indignation.  Who was Jesus angry at?  He wasn’t angry at Lazarus for dying, or at Mary and the others for weeping and mourning, or even at the Jews who where there for their unbelief.  Jesus was angry at death!  Jesus, who was God Himself; Jesus, who knew no sin; Jesus, who would later conquer death, was angry at death.  Death has conquered man since the fall and Jesus expressed his anger at death and the reign of terror it has over man.  Jesus expressed anger and yet did not sin in his anger.  Jesus knew that he would conquer death.  1 Corinthians 15:25-26 promises us that: “²⁵ For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. ²⁶ The last enemy to be destroyed is death.”   Death will ultimately be destroyed, it is God’s enemy so we can and should be angry at it.  What a glorious day that will be.  1 Corinthians 15:53-58 tells us that once death has been destroyed:  “⁵³ For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. ⁵⁴ When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
⁵⁵ “O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?” ⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷ But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁵⁸ Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”  Praise God!!

My friend shared with me how the realization that Jesus was angry at death gave him the freedom to accept that he too could be angry at death without sinning.  This realization helped him as he dealt with his emotions over the loss of his parents.  It has helped me too as I have come to realize that I too have been dealing with anger.  I am angry at death for taking my brother away from me.  I am angry at death for the pain it has caused my sister-in-law.  I am angry at death for the hole it left in my brother’s family and the loss and sorrow that his sons have had to deal with.  I am angry at death, but as a Christ-follower, that is ok, as long as I do not let it cause me to sin.  As a Christ-follower, it is ok to be angry at the things that Jesus got angry at.  As a Christ-follower, it is possible to be angry and yet not sin, but only as we submit ourselves to God and let His Spirit guide and direct our thoughts and our actions. 

I now realize that my anger is not at anyone, but is directed at death, and that is ok, because I am a Christ-follower and I can be angry at death without sinning.  As long as our anger is directed in the right direction, we can be angry without sinning.  It is when we either deny we are angry or misdirect that anger that we sin.  Then, it is our close friends and family that receive the fruit of that denial or misdirected anger and we end up sinning against them.  We must correctly identify our anger and follow Jesus’ example to be angry without sinning. I still experience sadness at times, thankfulness at other times, still some confusion at times, and even anger at times. Coming to this realization has helped me as I continue to move on from the passing of my brother. 

...About Beginning Again

I have enjoyed writing for as long as I can remember.  In junior high school, it was my favorite class and one of my favorite things to do when I was stuck indoors.  I would write short stories, short essays about various subjects, and even some songs.  I continued to write on a regular basis throughout high school and even during my college days (as short lived as those were).  However, once I got married, started having kids, and got on with the busyness of life and a career, my writing stopped.  I would venture to say that I have not written anything more than a card, short letter, or check in over twenty years. 

My oldest daughter loves to write and in my humble opinion, is very talented.  She has written many inspiring notes on Facebook and recently started a blog and reading her blog has inspired me to start writing again.  My postings will probably be rusty and uninspired to start, but will hopefully get better as I get back into it and get my creative juices flowing again (if there are any creative juices left in me).  I am certain my ponderings and thoughts and whathaveyou's will not have the creativity and depth that her's do, but as a parent, I have always wanted my children to go farther and do better than I have. 

I am not sure how often I will post here and when I do, it will probably include some of the things that I wrote back in high school and college, along with new thoughts as they come to me.  My goal of starting this blog is nothing more than to have an outlet for rekindling my passion for writing, for although my love of writing has never died, my pursuit of this passion has been dormant for way too long. 

My prayer is that through this blog, God will work in my life to make me a better husband, father, and man and possibly allow my thoughts to touch someone else's life in some small way.